How I work
Face-to-face sessions near Wantage and Faringdon (SW Oxfordshire) and online sessions in the UK
My new comfortable counselling room is only 10 minutes from Wantage, Faringdon and the A420 - discreetly situated in the beautiful village of Stanford in the Vale. There is free onsite parking.
‘Powerful is our need to be known, really known by ourselves and others, even if only for a moment.’ Carl Rogers
Clients present in counselling with a range of issues, difficulties and needs. My person-centred counselling approach ensures I respond to your individual needs, whether acute or long term, mild or severe, familiar or diverse. I work within an integrative holistic model, primarily person-centred and utilising insights, techniques and skills from other theories for your benefit. My work is trauma-informed, and I am qualified to work to a focused model if you need to find a more stable way of being before processing traumatic experiences.
I aim to provide a relationship where you feel seen, accepted and prized, where you come to know and value your ‘self’, and gain personal and emotional growth.
Person-centred relationship
I respect each client’s individual process and pace. My aim is that the counselling experience models a caring and respectful relationship which you can take into other parts of your life and into your future, so I honour that by offering my genuine self, with acceptance and empathy.
‘It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.’ Carl Rogers, A Way of Being
In line with my person-centred approach you are your own expert and lead the pace and focus of the work. I try to see and understand clients as whole people and respond to their different parts and needs. This also supports attending to clients’ physical, neurobiological and spiritual experiences and resources as well as their emotional being.
‘We now understand that trauma’s imprint is both psychological and somatic: long after the events are over, the body continues to respond as if danger were ever present. … I believe the key to healing is not just knowing what happened but transforming how the mind, body, and soul still remember it.’ Pat Ogden
Holistic view
The effect of positive relationships on wellbeing, and the ability to challenge old thoughts and behaviours, reflects the wonder of how our bodies and minds respond to our experience of life. I draw on insights from psychodynamic, development and attachment, and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) theories and practices. Occasionally I will share aspects of theory with you as psychoeducation if it feels right for you.
Creative activities (e.g. imaginative, drawing, using objects to symbolise our stories) engage the right side of our brains as opposed to the more cognitive, narrative left brain. The right brain is where emotional and somatic memories are stored and therefore activities can help you access and process these experiences.
The right hemisphere, the seat of the bodily based self system with its store of early relational patterning, is the source of originality, creativity and emotional growth and development.’ Margaret Wilkinson, Changing Minds in Therapy
Spirituality influences our values and goals, and how we see, experience and find meaning in our lives and the world. As an intrinsic part of ourselves it is to be respected and can often provide a great resource for comfort and guidance. I work with your spirituality as part of who you are and follow your lead to work with it in a curious and respectful way.
‘Spirituality is about seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself, which can result in positive emotions, such as peace, awe, contentment, gratitude, and acceptance.’ Louise Delagran, University of Minnesota
It is important to recognise how memories and trauma may be held by the body. Somatic (body) work to notice the physical signs, be curious and gain understanding, may lead to new ways to meet our needs and relieve these sensations and their associated emotions and thoughts.
Integrative model
Psychodynamic theories consider childhood experiences and their effect upon the present. Working with these formative experiences often leads to discovering unconscious processes, like protective defence mechanisms or patterns, later in life which we can explore for new meanings.
‘Personal growth commences with an ego death. Self-pride blunts personal growth because the ego resists change. The ego wants to maintain the status quo by holding onto false notions of the self. The ego desires me to see all of my failures as someone else’s fault.’ Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls
Our attachment experiences in childhood form our ongoing and adult attachment styles, which affect our relationships with our self, the world around us and other people.
Theories of childhood and life stage development offer an additional perspective of the impact of specific conflicts or challenges at different times in our lives and how this affects our personal growth and development. Counselling may bring these into your awareness, increasing insight and therefore the opportunity to make changes.
‘In particular, Vaillant (George) says, it is the experience of loving and being loved that most closely predicts how we react to the hardships of life; attachments are the ultimate source of resilience … a straightforward five-word conclusion,’ Vaillant writes. “‘Happiness equals love. Full stop.”’ Jonah Lehrer, A Book About Love
CBT theory recognises an association between people’s thoughts, behaviours and emotions, and aims to improve your experience of your world by recognising and working with patterns of unhelpful thinking. We can explore a range of strategies and techniques to stop the thoughts, distract you from them and support you to challenge your thinking and beliefs to find alternative perspectives and interpretations.
'There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so' William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Phone: 07523 796173
Email: heather.counselling21@gmail.com
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